In January of 2010, my then fiance flew back to his job with the Air Force in Japan. I was devastated. Not because we broke up (because we didn't), but because I was ready to spend my life with him and I wanted to be with him. But, I only had to wait 8 months for him to come home for good, we would get married and move to our next permanent location.
The day I put him on the plane in Seattle, I cried, and cried, and cried. But, I had dinner with my best friend (who was the sister I never had) and our mutual friend from college to look forward to. So, we met up at Applebee's. However, if I knew then what I know now, I wish I had just gone straight home. Because, that dinner.. I apparently did something that I didn't even know I did, and lost my best friend forever. Well, I hope it's not forever. I hope someday she will talk to me again. Because, I don't even remember the specifics of what happened, because what she assumed I did intentionally, I did not even know I had done. However, thirteen days after that said dinner when I finally heard from her, it was to say that what I did was unforgivable and she never wanted to talk to me again. And, I regret not fighting for our friendship and not defending myself. But, I was so hurt that she could even think I would do (whatever I did), I respected her wishes. Because, that is how much I loved her. She didn't want to be at my wedding and she thought I was making a mistake by marrying my now husband. Now, the other factor is.. if that mutual friend from college hadn't been apart of the equation, I also probably would have fought. But, I knew the other friend was talking in her ear, and I just didn't have the heart to compete with that kind of negativity.
So, why dwell on the past, right? Because at my wedding, I had people who loved me. People who loved my husband. Gorgeous weather. Wonderful food. The best cake I've ever had. But I did notice she wasn't there. And, in the past two years.. I still love her like a sister, and my heart aches to be able to connect with her again, I still think of her. Last night, she was in a dream I had. I wonder if she's happy. I wonder if she's found someone special. And, I admit.. I'm selfish and I want her to know what I've been doing. That my husband and I are more in love today than we were when we got married, that I didn't make a mistake by marrying him. That we now have another red headed daughter, Emma.. and she looks just like my oldest red headed daughter, Lilly. My oldest daughter, whom she used to refer to as her niece. That last year I discovered I have an older brother I never knew existed. That my dad's last name isn't what I thought it was. That my grandmother (who died before I was born) worked for the mafia, and I found her grave in Peoria, IL. So much to tell her! But, I still want to respect her wishes. She un-friended me from Facebook (that hurt like you wouldn't believe). And sometimes I still go and see if she is still friends with that mutual college friend. In fact, she's still friends with all of our mutual college friends. I chose to switch my Facebook account when we moved with my husband to Wyoming, and since I didn't keep in touch with those other college friends, I never re-friended them. But, my memory of her is a romantic memory. When I see her new profile picture, I see someone who didn't believe in our friendship. However, my heart still aches for her. She was there with me through some wonderful ups and some terrible downs, through my divorce from my first husband. I was there at her wedding and there for her through her divorce.
But, luckily I have other amazing friends. Both from back in Oregon and here in Wyoming, and still some true friends from college that I do like to keep in touch with. I think about when I went to my 10 year high school reunion, I wondered why I even bothered going. Because, the people I really wanted to talk to, I still talk to. And the other classmates.. well.. I won't be upset if I never know what is going on in their lives. I doubt I'll go to any future reunions. If I don't talk to them now, probably the only thing we have in common anyway.. was high school. The life beyond high school, the life beyond college.. is what you make of it.
After living in windy Wyoming for the last two years while stationed at FE Warren AFB, my husband now has orders to a new adventure. We will be leaving Cheyenne, the end of October. Driving back to Oregon for a few weeks on leave, before leaving from Seattle in November to Djibouti, Africa where my husband will be working at the US Embassy. I will be leaving a job that I enjoy, the best boss I've ever had, and a community I really felt has been "home". And it hasn't felt like home because of the six months of winter, or the fierce wind, or because my nose always has junk in it because of the dry air.. it's because of the people. I have made some amazing friends here. We also live in an amazing neighborhood where my oldest can go and play with the neighborhood kids, and I don't have to worry about her.
Our new adventure will be hot. It will include home schooling. I will be a stay at home mom (and I don't want to return to work until my youngest is in school full time. After having an infant come to work with me for over a year, I'm ready to concentrate on just being a mom.). It will be a life adjustment. But my hopes for the next two years in our new home are: learning fluent French, appreciating new cultures, discovering a new way of life.. and hopefully my oldest will realize that there is more to life than electronic items and the "new" latest toy. And so much more!
Now, if you plan on googling Djibouti after reading this.. it doesn't look pretty. However, I will be taking a lot of photo's so you can see what our lifestyle looks like. And in that google search, you will see that it never gets below 80 degrees all year, and from May-September, the average temperature is 120+ degrees. So, with that in mind.. we (myself and the girls) plan on coming back to Oregon during the summer months, and my husband will join us at the end for his vacation. So, you haven't seen the last of us yet! We will be back! However, after our two year tour is up in Djibouti.. we do plan on staying overseas.
Love to you all! (Miss you Laurie!)
51 days till we leave Cheyenne (anyone know anybody looking to buy a house?)
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